This blog contains some politically controversial statements (most of which are written in a sarcastic tone). If you really don't feel like reading anything about politics, then I suggest you go read something else. You're probably a pansy anyways. :) Go ahead... Shoo.. Go play Hello Kitty Online or something.
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Well, it happened. Government health care takeover. That's what I call it, but it really has very little to do with health care. It's more of the government forcing us to purchase a product and then penalizing us if we choose not to.
In the wake of this abomination, it has become clear to me that we conservatives out there, must change the way we see things.
And if we can't fight the Democrats... It's time to Join them.
So in today's blog, we're going to go over how to be a good little Democrat.. Or as I like to put it "How to be an ass (donkey)".
Step 1: Healthcare.
We'll get it out of the way first. After all, it's the most pressing news item.
Regardless of the fact that we live in a capitalist society, to be a good democrat, we need to force our minds to believe "Healthcare is the right of every citizen".
Not only that, but you're required to buy insurance too. Just get past that. Really, it's okay. If you can't afford it, then the government will give you a nice little subsidy to pay for it. And if you're one of those nasty little rebels that still refuse to buy it, the IRS will slap a penalty on you. (Bad boy. Shame.. )
And those evil bureaucratic insurance companies.... (wait, didn't we just decide to all buy insurance... anyways..)... Those evil insurance companies can no longer deny coverage for pre-existing conditions. Hummm... I wonder what that will do to premium costs.
Anyways.. It may not all make sense, but we have to believe that the government has our best interests in mind. They're looking out for us!
Can we believe in it? Yes we can! (I think I almost lost my lunch when I typed that... Moving on..)
Step 2: Ethical issues.
Now that we've trained ourselves to agree with healthcare, it's time to work on those more passionate areas. I'll only touch two of them, gay marriage and abortion.
- Gay people should be allowed to get married.. (here comes my lunch again).
After all, they're American's too and they should have the same right as the "breeding" community. Domestic partnerships, while having many of the same rights as marriage, just aren't good enough. They want to just 'say' they're married so they can get divorced like straight people.
I understand for most conservatives, this is a hard pill to swallow. We tend to frown on homosexuality. We all know how the Bible speaks about homosexuality and it being an abomination, etc.. etc.. But to be a good democrat, you pretty well have to ignore the Bible completely anyways.
- Abortion is a Woman's Right.
That's where Democrats view things differently from us. Conservatives view life at conception. To become a good little Dem, we need to teach ourselves that this is not the case. Despite a beating heart, brain activity, pain response, and all the studies that show us that the baby is in fact alive. It is not. It is simply another part of the female's anatomy until it is born. Kind of like an appendix. And it is the right of every woman to decide to have that appendix removed so it doesn't inconvenience them down the road.
Step 3: Economic issues.
If you've noticed a re-occurring trend in the previous points, it is that it is our "right" to have health-care, get gay married, or kill babies. This is the point where it all gets put together.
It is the people's right to have just about everything they need in life with, or without working for it.
More or less, you can decide today to quit working. Your troubles are over. You can't afford health-care, the government will subsidize it for you. You can't afford food, there's food-stamps. You can't afford a place to live? There's government subsidized apartments.
We as Americans cannot let people go without the things they need. There is poverty everywhere. We can solve this by giving away the necessities in life.
How do we pay for such things? I'm glad you asked. There is a small population of people in this world that work for a living, own companies, drive nice cars and have nice things. Well, they weren't given them by us Democrats, so they must have lied, cheated to get them, or stolen them. As a result, we must penalize them. Their evil cannot continue! We will take it back! We, as good little democrats have the RESPONSIBILITY to see to it that we tax those who make large salaries so we can re-distribute the money to those who really need it. Like those who have 17 kids by 18 daddys and dosen't work.
Doing this will provide HOPE for future generations.
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I know there's a lot more to being a Democrat. But if we start with following these simple steps, and maybe trying to reduce our carbon footprint, we can make a difference in this world. We can make a Change that we can all believe in.
Um.. or maybe not.
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